Get a Life Too

How often do you always want to be around your friends and family? Do you enjoy your personal space? Are you easily bored when you are alone? If you are this person, then we need to work on something. People respect you until you start disrespecting yourself. You teach people how to treat you. When you start lowering your standard because of people, you will continue to lower your standard until death comes. Have you heard people say, “he commands respect or she commands respect.” This is because they carry themselves in a manner that they don’t need to say a word to be respected but their actions alone do that.

Get busy

They say, “An idle mind is a devil’s workshop, but I say, an idle mind creates room for dependancy.” You will be more prone to visiting friends or looking for someone to chat with online when you are doing nothing. You ought to start now to learn to do without people so that when there is no-one to talk to, you will still be fine. I find it so intriguing that some person’s can’t be alone. What happens when there is no one to be with, will you be forcing yourself unto a person? You know it can actually get irritating when you are always around a person even when they have given sighs that you are trooping into their spaces. It is ok to visit people or chat with people but do it with dignity. Give people the chance to miss you. Don’t always act available, you might be sending the wrong message. You might say I have nothing to keep me busy, my sister or brother, there are lots of things to keep you busy, you just need to find out what it is. Enroll for a course, get a job, start gymming, watch movies, read books, learn an instrument. If you are tired, get some sleep. It is very much healthy to have fun with your friends, but there should be boundaries to everything. Divide your time and know how to use it judiciously. Stop being too available especially when you know that there is no need for you to be there. Be a good friend and be there for your friends when they need you the most.

Not having something doing can also affect your romantic relationship. When you always need your boyfriend or your girlfriend or even your husband or your wife, you are being a burden. Being idle will make you feel like your partner cares less about you especially if your partner is working or studying and you are doing nothing. Getting busy will reduce your neediness in your relationship. Occupy your mind with something important like work or school and you will think less of always spending time with your partner. You are important to your partner and her work or school is also important to her. Understanding this will reduce the tension in your relationship. When both of you are busy and then make out time out of your busy schedules will increase the quality of your relationship. If you are reading this today and you found out that you are being too needy or clingy, it is high time you found something doing.

Stop waiting for validation

We have been so dependent that we can’t do something on our own without a push. What happens when there is no one left to push us, are we going to be just stagnant and do nothing with our lives? You must learn to be your own motivation, because people will disappoint you and sometimes it can come from the person you least expected it from. Do not get me wrong, there are good people out there but you should not forget that everyone has a burden that he/she is bearing and sometimes their burden is so heavy that they won’t be able to assist you. This is why you must start practicing self-motivation. You can boost your motivation by reading about people who have succeeded in this life.

I listened to Ayodeji Megbope’s story and I really learnt something huge from her story. She was sexually abused many times by a trusted family member and this affected her education and even her parents gave up on her. To cut the story short, she suffered from low self-esteem and was always bringing herself down because she had no university degree. But the moment she dropped her past behind her and started focusing on the future, she saw the light she could become. She became known right from her kitchen. she realised that she could do something with her hands and embraced every good opportunity that came her way. The truth about waiting for validation is that some might be true and some might be false but the moment you see the good in yourself for yourself, it will make sense. Ayodeji Megbope stopped limiting herself because of lack of degree and she focused more on what she has and not what she doesn’t have. And today she gained more including the things she thought she would never have.

Create new hobbies

Out of work and school, you should have something you enjoy doing alone. It could be swimming, watching movies, playing songs, singing or even playing games. It could be visiting the foster homes or just taking a walk. Just find something that you can enjoy doing alone without the need for someone. I am teaching you this today so that you can get your life together. you must learn to be independent. Your friends and partner will not always be around to have fun with you or spend time with you.

So, when a moment like this brings forth itself, you should be able to enjoy your free moments on your own without people in it. Being able to practise this, will reduce your dependency on people for your happiness. Giving people the key to your happiness is a wrong thing to do because breakups happen, some friends will move to other countries or cities, people get busier with work and family. Things won’t always remain the same because people change. The key to your happiness should remain with you and you alone, so get a life.

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