Don’t Get Married If…

Frankly, many people in the world today want to get married. There is one thing that everyone likes to watch or read about and that is love. A man or a woman falls in love and gets married. Well people get married for different reasons and have you ever wondered why you want to get married? What ever your reasons are, you need to marry right or never marry at all. Actually it is not a compulsory to get married, you can be unmarried and still be very happy. Some marriages are as hot as hell why some are as beautiful as heaven. The decision you make as a single person directs your path in choosing your partner. In my opinion, it is better to be single and happy than married and unhappy. There are things you should know about yourself before choosing a partner and let alone getting married.

Find your purpose

Don’t get married if you haven’t found your purpose. Your purpose is the reason why you came into this world in the first place. Everyone on earth has something special to offer. Maybe you were born to be a pastor, a reverend father, an entertainer, a farmer, pilot, politician and others. Knowing why you were born shows you the kind of person to choose as a life partner. As a president of a country, you need a strong woman or man beside you, someone that understands the need to be fearless, outspoken and able to make profitable decisions pertaining to a country. As a pastor, you need a man or a woman that has the same value as you, someone that fears the Lord and someone that is eager to propel the gospel of God. If you are an actor, you need someone that understands the nature of your job, so that when he or she sees you acting some scenes that are uncomfortable, he or she won’t react negatively to it.

So find your purpose before finding the one. One of the reasons why people break up today is because they found the one before finding their purpose. The truth is, there is no particular the one for you, so many persons can be the one for you. Just imagine that you are in a relationship and all of a sudden, you want to be an actor, your partner might not like the idea because of the nature of the job and this could lead to break up if not handled amicably. But when you are already an actor and meet your spouse, he or she will have an insight before saying yes to you.

Maybe you are not an actor yet or a politician yet or a pastor yet or a doctor yet, knowing before hand what you want to do in your life is very paramount. At least you can tell your partner, this is what I want to do or become, if he or she is comfortable with it, he or she can stay. Trust me, you need to be with a person that will push you further to achieving more. There are so many people today that lost themselves in marriages and this happens a lot to women. It really should not be that way, marriage should brighten your future the more and not make it gloomy. If you are married today and you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing in life, you have lost yourself.

Be happy as a single person

Don’t get married because you think that it will make you happy, rather get married because you know that it will make you happier. For some folks, the happiest day in their marriage is their wedding day. It is so laughable but in my opinion, it should not be so. Your wedding day should be the starting point of your happy married life and not the happiest day in your marriage. Finding yourself helps you know what makes you happy. What do you enjoy? Don’t get married to a person and become a leech to that person. You should bear in mind that, even as a married person, you should have your own thing doing apart from spending time with your spouse. Be productive, work and earn money, go to the gym, or any other thing that you enjoy doing. It is also okay if your spouse enjoy the same things as you, so you both can do them together. Value is added to the relationship when you both have things that you do apart like work and things that you do together. In life, you cannot give what you don’t have. If you are a sad person, there is no way you will bring joy into the relationship and you will keep depending on your partner for your happiness. That is like giving someone the key to your life, when he switches it on, you are alive and vice versa. It is very unhealthy to give someone else that huge responsibility of your happiness, later in the future, he or she will get tired of doing that job and will want to save his or her soul. The key to your happiness is yours and yours alone, then getting married should add flavour to your happiness to make it more delicious.

Know your values

The truth is you won’t know your value if you haven’t found yourself. Knowing yourself and knowing what you want helps you know what you value. Maybe you believe that cooking is for both men and women and not just for women alone, or you believe that men should also bath the kids and not just the women alone. Maybe you believe that a woman should contribute to the finances of the family and not just the men alone or you believe that people should worship God and go to church on Sundays. There are so many things that you can value and being with someone that your values align makes the marriage easier, you wouldn’t have to explain yourself over and over again as to why things should go this way or that way. Well I am not saying that you both must agree in everything, but at least 90% of your values should align. Also being with someone that is progressive helps a lot in marriages today. By progressive, I mean someone that can learn and unlearn. Trust me, you don’t want to marry a rock that will always be hard, be with someone that is flexible or teachable.

Learn to communicate

Lastly, I just want to add, be a good communicator. Don’t wait for things to escalate before you talk about them. Learn to speak up early and at the right moment. Good communication helps in all that we do and not just in marriages alone. Build your communication skill as an individual before setting out to choose a spouse.

So many issues can be solved by just dialogue. People learn and know you more by you communicating yourself to them. Sometimes your spouse might not know the best way to love you but you telling your spouse what you like or don’t like, helps them to love you better. I might think that you prefer gifts without knowing that you prefer quality time or romantic talks and messages. Well, I wish you all the best in choosing a spouse and don’t forget, you have a pile of options in choosing the one, there is no particular the one in the universe for you.

---

Do you want to study abroad? Book our services for help.