Self Love.

How much do you love yourself? How much do you look at yourself at the mirror and say, “I love me.” Or do you wish to be someone else? Do you want to change something in your life so that your friends can accept you? If all your life, you have been acting like someone else so as to get accepted, then you have been living a lie, you do not love yourself. You know the truth about self love is that you can’t love other people if you do not love yourself. Come on, you cannot give what you don’t have. Love comes from within and when you have only hatred within you, you are always beating up on yourself, always hating on yourself, then you won’t be able to love yourself, let alone loving others. Some people have this wrong idea about self love, you think that once you get into a relationship, automatically you will learn to love but that is a big lie because you are giving someone the responsibility to fill in the void in your heart and this can be very overwhelming for your partner. To be able to love others, you need to love yourself first. There are so many things you can do to improve yourself love, just keep reading.

Value Yourself

Self value means how you hold yourself within yourself and what you expect as a result. If you are not holding yourself as worthy, then what you will get from the world will hurt you.

Identify and challenge your negative beliefs. Stop letting negative thoughts overrule you. You need to get that job or that promotion but you keep saying, I’m not smart enough for that job or I might probably fail the job interview because of how incompetent you think you are. You need to know this, the world will see you through your eyes, how you carry yourself is how the world will carry you. Go to that interview with boldness and confidence, speak like you are sure of what you are saying, convince the interviewers. Actually, you need to be convinced within yourself before you can convince others. Learn to fill yourself with positivity. Say you will succeed even when it is not certain.

Are you having a hard time trying to accept any part of you, you need to stop today because if you don’t accept yourself the way you are, then the world won’t accept you. I have seen a lot on social media, some people trying to adjust their nose or lips because they think it is too big or too small. The way your nose or lips look won’t matter to you if you love yourself. Someone might ask, what about those doing exercise in order to look good or improve their appearances, don’t they love themselves? Doing an operation to change the look of your nose is different from doing an exercise because you don’t need any operation to exercise. In fact doing an exercise is self love because you want to be healthy. If you love yourself, you must value yourself. If you value yourself, eat healthy, take a detox from work, relax, never talk down on yourself, stop saying yes all the time. So many people like pleasing others to the detriment of themselves, it is high time you started saying no. Do not stripe naked for someone else if you are not ok with it. Do not involve in cheats if it is against your principles. Do not do that job if you don’t like it. When you value yourself, people will value you. Value yourself to the extent that people should be able to say, “I know John, he can’t do that kind of a thing.” Or “I know John, he is equal to the task.” Learn to let the world see you through your eyes and let what they see worth seeing.

Forgive yourself

There are two word that should never lack in any relationship which are love and sorry. If you understand the value of these two words, then you will excel in all your relationships. There are so many people in this world and so, there will be moments of misunderstandings. How you handle the problem is what matters and not even the problem itself. People will wrong you and you will wrong people. Before you can ask someone to forgive you, you need to first forgive yourself. It doesn’t matter how grave the crime is, you must learn to let go. Forgiving yourself is about more than just putting the past behind you and moving on. It is about accepting what has happened and showing compassion to yourself. As a result of accepting what you have done, negative feelings will arise but you need to understand that making a mistake does not entirely makes you a bad person. You must learn from the experience and think of the possible ways to avoid it from happening a second time. It is ok to feel guilty but it is not ok to feel shame. Shame can lead to depressions and addictions to alcohols or narcotics.

Guilt is a sign of self consciousness which implies that you are a good person who just made a mistake. After taking responsibilities for your actions and feeling the guilt, make amends with yourself and look for ways to make it up to whomever you have hurt. One thing you must understand is that forgiving yourself will open room for you to ask others for forgiveness. Also forgiving yourself will release you from every bondage of guilt and restoring your relationship with others.

Improve yourself

You can be so many things but it requires lots of works. If you have stage fright, it can be worked on, you can start by talking to a small number of people in a closed room and then you upgrade to a large congregation. You have a good voice which is only heard in your bathroom. Why not join the choir in your church and use your voice to serve God and people? One thing I have realised is that what ever plant you water grows. If you don’t keep practising your writing skills, you will not get better. If you don’t study medicine in the university, you can’t be a doctor. If you don’t put much effort in your studies, you won’t graduate with an excellent result. When I was a teenager, I loved singing and I still do. I only sang to my siblings and no-one else. Then I advanced in age and I decided to join the choir in my church, I realised that there was so much that I didn’t know. I only had a good voice but I didn’t know how to sing in a group or how to sing along with the instrumentalists. Till today, I’m so glad that I joined the choir because I have been able to work on other things that a singer needs to know. To get better at your job, you need to read more books and practise the more in your job. If there is something that you don’t know, find someone that knows it and learn from him or her.

Keep growing and never stop adding value to yourself. Work on your relationships to make them better. If there are bad attitudes that you exhibit, work on them and become a better person. There are so many good books that you can read today to improve yourself value, buy them and read. There is more that you can add to your life, never settle for less. Are you a Youtuber, work on your videos, work on the editing and make your thumbnails attracting for people to click on them.

When you keep improving yourself, you will keep improving your self worth and self value and people would want to know you and learn from you. Self love entails improving everything around you like your knowledge, your mentality, your talents and your work. If you have been living an unhealthy life, you can stop today. Every aspects of life needs love. Love is so powerful that when you lack it, every part of you lacks as well. If you love to improve yourself, you would also want to improve others, by teaching them what you know. Learn to love yourself, so that you can love others with ease. Love is more than a feeling and to love, you must choose to love. Choose to love yourself if you have not done that.

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